True Life: I'm Emotional
It’s been a while since I last updated. Sorry about that. December was an absolute horror for me. I have never felt so low in my life until this past December came. I’m told I had homesickness. I was depressed, cried everyday, looked at flights on coming home, and refused to leave my bed sometimes. I couldn’t find the joy in doing anything for a while. I thought that the sadness would never end. On top of it my anxiety was at a all time high, so I couldn’t eat. And I also had an ear infection that for some reason wouldn’t heal (and the antibiotics made me so sick) and then the worst thing happened, my baby Dany passed away. I was 100% ready to go home.
But I powered through it. I got through my tough days. My hardest days, the worst days of my life so far. I set my sites on my trip to Chiang Mai for New Years Eve. Once I did that, the tides changed.
The month of December is a month I never want to live again. To be honest I had painful thoughts about life. But I was able to overcome everything, and stay strong. I cried everyday but it helped release emotions. I started coloring because it eased my anxiety. I went to the gym to get my mind off of everything and to ‘waste time’. I talked to my family constantly because I wanted them to know what was going on.
Am I 100% over the feelings right now? No, I’m still ready to go home. But am I dealing with everything in a better way? Yes. What I’m doing now is keeping busy. I’m planning weekend trips, and sticking to my routine at home. That’s what you have to do sometimes.