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True Life: I'm Emotional

It’s been a while since I last updated. Sorry about that. December was an absolute horror for me. I have never felt so low in my life until this past December came. I’m told I had homesickness. I was depressed, cried everyday, looked at flights on coming home, and refused to leave my bed sometimes. I couldn’t find the joy in doing anything for a while. I thought that the sadness would never end. On top of it my anxiety was at a all time high, so I couldn’t eat. And I also had an ear infection that for some reason wouldn’t heal (and the antibiotics made me so sick) and then the worst thing happened, my baby Dany passed away. I was 100% ready to go home.

But I powered through it. I got through my tough days. My hardest days, the worst days of my life so far. I set my sites on my trip to Chiang Mai for New Years Eve. Once I did that, the tides changed.

The month of December is a month I never want to live again. To be honest I had painful thoughts about life. But I was able to overcome everything, and stay strong. I cried everyday but it helped release emotions. I started coloring because it eased my anxiety. I went to the gym to get my mind off of everything and to ‘waste time’. I talked to my family constantly because I wanted them to know what was going on.

Am I 100% over the feelings right now? No, I’m still ready to go home. But am I dealing with everything in a better way? Yes. What I’m doing now is keeping busy. I’m planning weekend trips, and sticking to my routine at home. That’s what you have to do sometimes.

Stay strong.

Love, Catie

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